00433 Beachbots

We went to the beach, what with it being summer and all and when we got there, there were already loads of tiny little people on the beach.

I say people, but they weren't really people.

They say they were people.

I still say the were'n't people.

They say no, really they were people.

I say no, I can see that they weren't people.

That's when the fight started.

and I stepped on all of them.

Some of them didn't bother.

Mind you, they weren't real people either:

yes we are

00432 And the drift goes on ...

Booooooom!'s (that just doesn't do it for me grammatically) "Little Drifters" season got me inspired to go out an pooh stick 'till I could pooh stick no more.

Don't know if I tried to hard this time (it's not like if I strain enough, they come out better), but at least it got me doing something a little more different.

They still sink when I sit on them.

00431 Little drifters

Booooooom! are (is) doing just what I'd hoped someone would do. It's invited people to make little boats, launch them, photograph them and sent in the images. Love the way Jeff has woven in the community approach to all this.

Here's the entrance guidelines.

They're also being published in the Vancouver Sun when they're good and ready, so I'll keep 'em peeled for that.

Booooooom! rules!

But also invites others to rule with it

00430 You can laugh now

I'll be the one who's laughing when the apocalypse comes and I gaze out from my space ship and watch you all as you burn:

I just need to get this shrinking ray working and then we're all stations go

00429 Plane to see

I give them away to children in the vain hope that they will last more than a minute



Which they never do

00428 The beautiful losers

Another triumph of ugly practicality and haste over grace, design and poise.

00427 Exit?

Could it be any worse?

I hope so, then there'll be more and better.

00426 The P3-55

beaut, in't she?

'course she was an early model that never went into production

because she was tiny and made of sticks!







you muppet

00425 The purpose of being

... is revealed in the musings of man

I spend an hour or so on some of these and they never turn out as well as when I just throw them together

I just can't predict how they'll turn out and no one else can either

or so I thought

Little do I know that data is collected on their performance and general aesthetics and combined to create meta-stats which are held in secret vaults deep underground.

They float, they sink.

The wind moves them, or they drift to and fro' at the whim of the tide.

All of this is recorded.

Teams of scientists work in shifts for decades on these raw figures to try to fathom the infinite depths of man's effect on his environment in the hope that one day these trivial musings might provide some clue as to why we are here and how the decisions we make form patterns in the ether which point to the existence of a higher power.

hang on ... so how do I know all this?

what was all that stuff about "little do I know"?

oh ... I see ... I made it all up




that is such a let-down

00424 Box

Don't touch the coins!

His head will go on fire!

Told ya

And while he luminesces, his friend gazes into pools of ever-changing colour:

the fool

00423 Anything but plane

... that's what I told the barman in Herm as he stiffed me £2.80 for four packets of salt and vinegars.

Still, at least I didn't get plane, I GOT ROCKET!

With a light balsamic glaze and parmesan shavings

00422 They fly! They fly!

... but only if you throw them

and then they are broken.


There's butterfly wings:

And then there's Shelly:

As you can see, I've included a visual parts list for anyone who wants to waste hours of their lives, mocking God's greatest gift by wielding the mighty weapons of futility and trivia as I have done so effectively for many years. It's a battle of the righteous against the pointless. For my part, my loyalties lie firmly with the latter and I find very easy to fight and win.

It's especially nice if you brought beer.

JOIN ME! JOIN ME NOW!!

but not if you can't be bothered

00421 And in her place ...

Like a scarlet harlot, rising up from the parts of her forebear:

She's on loan - well, at least her body is. Frame courtesy of Andy.

It's almost like adultery, but in metal.

(and without the sex)

00420 She's going away

There might have been tears if I wasn't a harder man.

I love her, but I smothered her in plastic and buried her in a box and sent her away.

WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER AM I?!?!?!?!?!

I told her we'd never be apart

sniff

Actually, I told her I'd send her off for a respray.

00419 See plain

Sea plane:

also on this beach:

winners and losers

At last over-design triumphs over beautiful simplicity. I've been waiting so long for practicality and common sense to take a back seat.

00418 Going nowhere

Sometimes you want to go somewhere and you just don't know how to make it happen

Other times you don't want to go somewhere but someone makes it happen anyway.

Then there are even some times where you don't get anywhere and then someone says "hey come over here, there's like this little door in the next room", but when you get there you discover it's just the door that leads into the room and the only door in the room next door is the one you came in through.

And then, oh, hang on, I'm not going anywhere with this am I?

00417 Rooved

When it's hot you need shade.

But it'll make you a loser.

Although to be fair (as Matthias pointed out) the winner had God on his side:

00416 the balloon cloud

Imagine if you will the clichéd image of the sullen man being pursued by his own private storm cloud.

Now ...

We met Paddy at a friend's house. He had just come from his daughter's 7th Birthday party and announced that all he could think of was seven-year-old girl's party stuff, as if it weren't what he would want to do given the choice.

Five minutes later (he hadn't moved since he told us about the party), we saw that he had been standing underneath a pink balloon all the time, just as if he was being haunted by an all-consuming and inescapable girl's party vibe.

No camera, and so - drawing.

I had a wide on.

This is a crop.

00415 Headlight

he's going to LIVE!

but not really

i tried to steal a brain from the village nearby, but I kind of chickened out and it probably wouldn't have fitted anyway

meanwhile the queue for the boxes is growing:

patience, my pretties

surely no one actually talks like that

00414 L' M' UUUUT!

'course he might have said something else. It's hard to hear when they're so tiny.