00454 Sparebots 2010

Although there haven't been quite so many sightings as there were last year, a demand for books has meant that there's an updated version of last year's publication.

In fact, it's all here - all of it!

00453 Pinholarino

Pinholerooney:

For when sharp images just won't quite cut it.

You will need:

One DSLR
One body cap for above
One drill
One can Guinness
One roll black adhesive tape
One needle
One black sharpie

Method:
Drill hole in body cap
Cut piece of aluminium out of Guinness can - smaller than body cap
Pierce Guinness can with needle (use it as a tiny drill to make a very, very small hole)
Blacken camera side of Guinness can insert with sharpie
Tape to inside of body cap
Stick cap on camera body
Take pictures

(Serves 4)

00452 Ladder jig

Did you ever need to make tiny ladders but they just turned out too damn fiddly and time consuming? Then the Ladderman Pro (TM) is for you!

Ladderman Pro includes all the unique features that we've all come to expect from the Ladderman brand:

• Easy to use
• Nails stuck in a piece of wood
• Quick and easy
• Easy and quick
• Did I say easy?
• Easy

See the results for yourself:

No more crying and banging your fists on the table because you can't make enough tiny ladders and the nasty people are coming to get the ladders that you promised them, but you haven't got them finished yet.

"I used to get so worked up when it took me days to make tiny ladders. Not any more! Now I make them all day" - name withheld by family.

"Probably the best tiny ladder making tool not on the market today" - tiny ladders decenniall.

Don't wait, the Ladderman Pro is a limited edition and this offer (of which there is none) can't last for ever (so much so that it doesn't exist).

Biscuits and tea not included. Terms and conditions apply. Your house may be at risk if you make tiny ladders, lose your mind and get carted away by well intentioned medical practitioners called in by your concerned family who have finally realised that you now pose a danger to them, yourself and society at large.

00451 Eeeking out the last

I've now been to this beach so many times, that I'm finding the same sticks on it and am consequently begging for a huge storm to sweep away the old and bring in the new.

Still, gets me out of the house.

Gets me in the water too.

And the camera.

How long can it survive?

00450 The end of the Summer

The hols anyway.

And with that, there always comes a slightly reduced volume of this:

Probably means there'll be more of this:

My inner geek embraces the coming winter.

00449 And then there was one

An excerpt from "Sailing with midgets":

"It is imperative in the extreme, that the natural balance of things be preserved. To wit: for a camera to be maintained as a working entity one must keep it from the ravages of the elements and for a small boat or group of boats to survive the fury of the sea they should be positioned in such a way so as to avoid the inclemencies that may be set upon them, were they to be put in harms way."

I find myself in need of advice such a this when presented with situations such as this:

... followed closely by inclemencies in the surrounding environment such as this:

... which in turn leave me with a damp camera and one, solitary floating figure, such as this:

I must try that "standing on the shoulders of giants" shit one day. At least then I wouldn't get so wet.

00448 Signature

Although this needs a little work, the idea is sound. A tiny glazed window, with which you can frame any text or image.

I'm thinking of selling the idea to T&C, who asked for a board to be made for them with their initials on it.

It's so awesome when it's sanded back level with the wood that it's inset into.

00447 !

WIP - for the "sparebots banger/landmine sound activated flash" arrangement that I've been working on for five seconds.

It's a well beaten path, but you've got to start somewhere.

00446 The X4

As part of the "beige ops" program begun by the former administration, the X4 begun life as just a single, unique cylinder of raw material, found only in one place on earth. Within five months that material had been extensively processed and she had become the figurehead project behind a general move towards miniaturisation. The design team poured everything they had into her, until one day in September of 2010, when the news broke that the plug had been pulled. Someone high up had gotten wind of the operation and demanded to see the detailed specs. It wasn’t long before they figured out that the X4, with all its groundbreaking developments, was smaller than a mini Leatherman.

The funding for the development was cut off immediately and marked “Bollocks”.

Notes:

This information has been taken directly from a corrupted report gleaned from the archives.

It is possible that “months” may have been written as “minutes”.

“One place on earth” may have been recorded as ”behind a rock”.

“Raw material” may have originally appeared as “a stick”.

00445 Sometimes it all just comes together

And then we leave it on the beach to be taken apart again.