00677 Balls

Secret Santa this year and the anti's been upped. It's a man in a box picking up balls of light. As usual.

 

 

 

 

00483 Day 20, the Hunter

Did I ever tell you about the tribe of warriors I had the fortune to encounter on one of my many expeditionsin the '50's?

Well, we had been carving a path through the jungles of the Castagnaccio desert - which turned out to be rather simpler than we thought, what with there being no water and consequently no vegetation and therefore no carving - when we found ourselves face to face with an enormous animal. Huge thing, male, frightful temper. Mating season, guarding his territory.

Reckoned we were all gonners (dicky leg from the Crimea put paid to my running days) - when up jumps this native fella, spears the blighter right through the heart!

Bloody close thing, that.

Never did learn his name. All we know is that he had a value of .22 Ohms.

00458 Xmas boxes

I sent a load of boxes to a gallery called Cry of the Gulls in Cornwall and forgot to take any pictures of the guys before they went in. Still, they came out alright. The spotlight attachments are awesome, if you're into spotlight attachments.

They'll be on sale and everything!

00457 Family

If you want to see the future, really see the future, then you need to look up a dogs bum.

This only works if you grow up to be a vet.

00455 I dream of boxes

And when I wake up in the morning I SEE THEM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For me there is no escape, even if I shut my eyes, I'm struck by the irony that I'm closing the lids.

So it seems that even if it's the little people who go in the boxes, I'M THE ONE WHO'S REALLY TRAPPED!

00454 Sparebots 2010

Although there haven't been quite so many sightings as there were last year, a demand for books has meant that there's an updated version of last year's publication.

In fact, it's all here - all of it!

00452 Ladder jig

Did you ever need to make tiny ladders but they just turned out too damn fiddly and time consuming? Then the Ladderman Pro (TM) is for you!

Ladderman Pro includes all the unique features that we've all come to expect from the Ladderman brand:

• Easy to use
• Nails stuck in a piece of wood
• Quick and easy
• Easy and quick
• Did I say easy?
• Easy

See the results for yourself:

No more crying and banging your fists on the table because you can't make enough tiny ladders and the nasty people are coming to get the ladders that you promised them, but you haven't got them finished yet.

"I used to get so worked up when it took me days to make tiny ladders. Not any more! Now I make them all day" - name withheld by family.

"Probably the best tiny ladder making tool not on the market today" - tiny ladders decenniall.

Don't wait, the Ladderman Pro is a limited edition and this offer (of which there is none) can't last for ever (so much so that it doesn't exist).

Biscuits and tea not included. Terms and conditions apply. Your house may be at risk if you make tiny ladders, lose your mind and get carted away by well intentioned medical practitioners called in by your concerned family who have finally realised that you now pose a danger to them, yourself and society at large.

00447 !

WIP - for the "sparebots banger/landmine sound activated flash" arrangement that I've been working on for five seconds.

It's a well beaten path, but you've got to start somewhere.

Riiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I follow a pretty simple philosophy - there's just me and the board and the road, and we're, like, together. If you can imagine a stream of being where everything (like, the physical and the spiritual) are combined in harmony, it's kinda like that. And if you can just dip your hand in that stream you become part of it and it becomes part of you. But mainly, it's about the ride. Just the ride."

"Oh, did I not mention that I'm made up? That's the other part of the philosophy."

00441 West Show

Table space at the West Show allowed me to see for myself how the public react to something that they quite literally can't comprehend.

Although, perhaps they were all looking at me and I've just tried to shut it out of my mind.

00433 Beachbots

We went to the beach, what with it being summer and all and when we got there, there were already loads of tiny little people on the beach.

I say people, but they weren't really people.

They say they were people.

I still say the were'n't people.

They say no, really they were people.

I say no, I can see that they weren't people.

That's when the fight started.

and I stepped on all of them.

Some of them didn't bother.

Mind you, they weren't real people either:

yes we are

00427 Exit?

Could it be any worse?

I hope so, then there'll be more and better.

00424 Box

Don't touch the coins!

His head will go on fire!

Told ya

And while he luminesces, his friend gazes into pools of ever-changing colour:

the fool

00418 Going nowhere

Sometimes you want to go somewhere and you just don't know how to make it happen

Other times you don't want to go somewhere but someone makes it happen anyway.

Then there are even some times where you don't get anywhere and then someone says "hey come over here, there's like this little door in the next room", but when you get there you discover it's just the door that leads into the room and the only door in the room next door is the one you came in through.

And then, oh, hang on, I'm not going anywhere with this am I?

00415 Headlight

he's going to LIVE!

but not really

i tried to steal a brain from the village nearby, but I kind of chickened out and it probably wouldn't have fitted anyway

meanwhile the queue for the boxes is growing:

patience, my pretties

surely no one actually talks like that

00414 L' M' UUUUT!

'course he might have said something else. It's hard to hear when they're so tiny.

00412 Paper

That sinking feeling:

It's only a matter of time before you're going to have to ask "What would McGyver do?"

00410 Make it

If you don't love Make, then you should.

And if you still don't, then have some of my love for it. I've got plenty.

And this is just one of the gazillion reasons why.

It's not a sexual thing, ok?

Here, have another hug, just to get you going:

No? OK, suit yourself, then.

00408 Hug?

Sometimes you just feel down and the only way you're going to get out of that nose dive is if someone is there for you. I mean, really there for you. You know, someone who'll just come straight out and say "I love you man".

Other times you just want them to piss off.

Usually if you have a hangover.

00407 I don't know jack

Nobody knows jack.

Until you're staring down the barrel:

Now you too know jack.

Fear it.

(unless you are more than 2" in height, in which case don't worry)