Dear Sir
I am a giant and wish to complain about the lack of silverware available for the voluminously/altitudinally challenged. No point in grinding bones to make my bread if I have no kitchen utensils which are up to the task.
Yours massively
The Giant
Dear Mr Giant
It is with great pleasure that I can bring you the news of our latest product line. Giant spoons are now in stock. Please head over to our website to place your order (www.wemakereallystrangeutensilsforpeoplewhodifferinsizefromthegenerallyacceptednorm.com)
You'll be glad to hear that the spoons come in at £1.50 each despite their size*.
We would also like to point out that spoons are not ideal for eating bread.
Happy meals!
John R. Madeupman
(regional sales director for wemakereallystrangeutensilsforpeoplewhodifferinsizefromthegenerallyacceptednorm)
*shipping costs start at £15,500,000.00
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